One of my work vendors gave me a planner for 2011. It was a nice gift, as freebies go, but I can’t say I’m going to use it. Instead, I’m thinking of making some anti-plans, if I have to make any at all. Here’s a…

I am processing words for dinner, cutting sentences into juicy bite-size chunks, heaping them into a bowl, a casserole, a stainless steel vat, and putting them on the stove to simmer. I have dirtied every utensil in the house. Even the cherry pitter needs washing,…

The strangest thing has happened, now that I’ve joined Facebook. A person who used to be very important to me, the one I most often referred to as my “best friend,” has resurfaced. I don’t mean she has asked to “friend” me – hardly that.…

I wish I had a dollar for every time someone has seen my work nametag and asked if I’m related to another Kress in the greater Dubuque area. It usually happens on the elevator. My favorite is, “Are you related to Father Kress?” Nope, sorry.…

I spent a lot of time last week trying to figure out next year’s Flexible Spending Account. If you have one of these at work, you know what I’m talking about. If not, let’s see if I can explain. This is the government’s (the IRS,…

I love libraries. I mean, what’s not to love? They’ve got DVDs, computers, audio books, magazines, newspapers from all over, and, oh yeah! Books! And it’s all free, if not to check out then to use to your heart’s content there at the library, in…

I love pessimism. It’s so relaxing. So non-threatening. It says: Don’t even try. Whereas optimism requires such work. You have to hope. You have to dream, preferably big. You have to let a smile be your umbrella on a rainy, rainy day. Because, after all,…

In Anne Lamott’s novel Imperfect Birds, there is a moment in which the main character’s father notes that her skill with physics is genetic, “like the noticing gene necessary for being a good writer.” I haven’t yet read this book – a friend quoted it…

If anybody knows how to read a book, it should be a librarian, right? You’d think I’d be an expert. I wish I had a dollar for every time somebody has walked into whichever library I’m working at and said, “Have you read all these…

I love it when something completely wild sneaks into the city. (And no, I’m not talking about Bryce’s last party.) I’m talking mostly about animals, the ones we tend to think dwell mostly in National Parks, there for our pleasure, but far enough into the…

I gave a sermon the other Sunday. Well, it wasn’t really a sermon – a best, a sermonette – but more of a presentation on a famous Unitarian. The Dubuque Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, as wonderful a group of people as you could hope to meet,…

We’ve lived in our house for almost ten years now, and in all that time, there has been a clock on the wall in the living room. We hung it above one of the bookcases, and came to depend upon it. Like many people’s houses…

Some illnesses are dramatically visible, and they can embarrass us. “Don’t stare,” we’re taught. Others are less visible. There are good things about having an invisible illness. If you try really hard you can fake it, and other people may think you’re just fine. Take…

I love pie. I love the whole idea of pie. I love watching movies with scenes that take place in diners where big guys come in and order a slice of pecan or meringue pie with a cup of joe. I love the idea of…

Here’s the weird thing about being hospitalized, as I was a couple of months ago. Someone else cleans up after you. This sounds like heaven to most women, but I found it a bit uncomfortable after the first few days. Of course, if you’re in…

A few weeks ago, I bought a new purse. There are women who do this every month, regarding their handbags as just another thing they wear. This has always struck me as weird, since I like to keep my hands free (for handshaking, if not…

Bonnie is my only sibling, older than me by eight years. Yet I have always felt like the big sister, because my IQ is normal, and hers hovers around 70. Anyone in the psychology or social work field knows what that means – she’s qualified…

Lately I’ve been missing my aunts and uncles. A few are still alive – two widowed aunts, living out their dementia-fogged days in assisted living, and one matched set, the aunt a nurse, the uncle my mother’s younger brother. He, too, is in the grip…

My daughter – my firstborn – just celebrated another birthday. We gave her presents (even her brother, if you count a Facebook Farmville goose a real present), and I cooked her favorite lasagna from scratch, and although we did not sing “Happy Birthday,” I did…

At long last, I am back from the hospital. I was away for twenty-three days, eighteen of them as an inpatient. People who entered the Head Pain Unit the same time as me left before I did, making me feel like the train was leaving…